Call jokes
What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
Have you heard about the new cereal?
It's called "Prostituties."
They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Memes
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
What is the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage!
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?
She is the only one that calls me "lamo."
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
What do you call a gay woman? I don't know.
Your forehead is so big they call you the Leaning Tower of Forehead!
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.
What do you call people who have an Oedipus complex?
Motherfuckers.
What do you call a Turk eating turkey?
A cannibal.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.