Call jokes
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
What do you call an orphan that has a brother? The second one without one.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
What do you call an emo with knife cuts on their wrist?
A barcode.
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
A gay guy and a trucker get in a car crash.
The gay guy says, "Somebody call the police! This man just rammed into me!"
The trucker says, "What the fuck did you just say, fucker? Get over here, I'm gonna wreck your ass!"
The gay man then says, "It's okay, everybody, don't call the police! He wants to negotiate."
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
What do you call an Irish lesbian? A gay lick.
What do you call a Muslim in America being pursued by a perv?
Alien vs. Predator.
What do you call the inside of the ISS toilet?
Cosmic Brownies.
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What do you call a magician with no magic? A dyslexic c**t.
Why is a group of Uchiha not called the Sharingang?
Why?
Because they're all Sharing... GONE :)
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.