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Boss

    • A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."

    "I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."

    She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.

    After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."

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    • Monster

    • What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.

    It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.

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    • Band

    • Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?

    Yeah, it's called RobberBand.

    Call memes

    God

    • The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.

    My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?

    Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D

    Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?

    Me: Call The Police Ka!!!

    Cat

    • Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.

    Isn't It Purrfect!