Call jokes
What do you call a Muslim bee?
Habibee.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
Q: What do you call an owner that can't take care of their cat? A: A impurrefect owner.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.
Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.
Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
What do you call a disabled Arab?
Artoo-Detoo (R2-D2).
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
What do you call a bunch of bald paki in a swimming pool? Coco pops.
What do you call a dwarf with ESP that escaped a prison?
A small medium at large.