Call jokes
Me: 911. You: You died 9/11.
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
What do you call a woman covered in mud? A dirty dishwasher.
"Why do people call Americans excessive?"
"It was probably because of WWII."
"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"
A boss said to his secretary, "I want to have sex with you, but I will make it very fast."
"I'll throw $1,000 on the floor and by the time you bend down to pick it up, I'll be done."
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend said, "Do it but ask him for $2,000. Then pick up the money so fast, he won't even have enough time to undress himself." She agrees.
After half an hour passes, the boyfriend calls the girlfriend and asks, "So what happened?" She responds, "The... bastard.....used.....coins."
Suicide is the way to get even with the bitch called probability.
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
What do you call a movie about an orphan?
The Bat Man.
What do you call it when two gay roosters fight?
Cockfighting
What do you call a bitch? A dumbass, hahahahaha.
What do you call a butt that kills people?
An ASSassin :)
What do you call your brother in Alabama? Daddy.
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
What do you call a shocked Chinese man?
"Hu le fuk!"
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.