Call jokes
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
What do you call a stupid mannequin?
A dummy.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
What do you call a student in space?
An astrodent.
What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.
Memes
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
What do you call people from Paris?
Parasites.
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.
What do you call a nazi that can’t see?
A nozi.
What do you call an orange parrot? A carrot!
What do you call a turkey when it is scared?
A chicken.
Why’s BBC called BBC?
The dude’s shlong gets bigger every time he says n-
The mailman came to drop the mail off.
Me (son): I went and told my mommy that daddy is home.
Mommy tells me, "You got no daddy."
Then I say, "I hear you always call the mailman daddy."
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
What do you call a kid with 15 nukes and a shotgun?
The final countdown.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
What do you call a stupid pig? A pious.
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A slipper.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."