Call jokes
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a hot tub?
steamed vegetables.
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
Stop making autism jokes, calling us "retards." It is not cool.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
What do you call lesbians having sex?
My cheating dyke ex-wife!
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
What do you call a fucked up mullet? A fullet.
Why aren't orphans scared of getting in trouble at school?
Because they can't call their parents.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"
"Incest."
Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
What do you call a whiteboard that is dirty?
A dirty whiteboard.
Call me an escalator because I let people down.