Call jokes
My doctor called me a "psychopath." How dare he?!? He'll pay for this!
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
Me: What do you call 4 depressed kids?
My friend: What?
Me: The Suicide Squad.
What do you call a wild cow in a shop with old things?
A bull in a china shop.
What are intelligent people in the US called?
"Tourist."
Memes
fnaf meme
Two Trojan warriors were patrolling the streets of Troy at night. It was finally time for their duties to be relieved. When they went back to their houses, one Trojan fell in a puddle. "Nitrogen!" The other called. And the other responded coldly, “Good night.”
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
What do you call a Pakie with a wooden leg?
Shit on a stick.
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
What do you call an Asian in a wheelchair? Sum Ting Wong.
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?