My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
What do you call an orphan's family picture? A self-portrait.
Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.
What do Jesus and a painting have in common?
They hang by nails.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?
It only took one nail to hang the picture frame.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?
Muzan Kibutsuji
Hehe
