Laptop jokes

I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.

What do you call a singing laptop?

A Dell.

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

Why couldn't the kid play on his laptop?

Because he has no arms and no laptop and no legs and no head and no home and no money and got shot.

Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.

Am I the only one who's on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop and I can't use my phone in class?

Cows go moo.

Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?

Why did Spider-Man decide to buy a laptop?

So that he could design his own “website.”

So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"

If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.

Why do orphans not like laptops?...

They don't have a homepage.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

I wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor. I need some parts for my laptop.

Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?

Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.

and found that in all the videos his father is...

Yo mama so dumb, when the doctor told her she had coronavirus, she bought a new laptop.

Is anyone else on here because it's not blocked on the school laptop?

Me: Mrs., can I read my book?

Teacher: Sure.

Me: *watching my Chromebook*