Art jokes
Why did the person take crayons to the bedroom?
To draw the curtains.
"A foolish man is lactose intolerant. A wise man simply tolerates it."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Me: Knock, knock. You: Who's there? Me: Music. You: Music who? Answer: A guitar is a violin without a stick.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Illusion.
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
Why was the picture in jail? Because it got framed!
How do you be friends with a musician?
B minor.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.
Desmend: FLY
Draco: FLY
Me: DIE
You look easy to draw.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with a snowman?
FROSTY RHYMES!
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.