Art jokes
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.
What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
What do you call an autistic kid that’s good at art?
Artistic.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
You like to draw? Because I like the MD, raw :)
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.