Art jokes
An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.
They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.
"Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.
The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.
"State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."
They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.
"Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.
When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.
"No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."
Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.
The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.
"What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.
"Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."
You walk into an area that has big asses on the wall, and they feel lifelike, so you put your dick into them, and you go on the opposite side of the wall, and women are naked through the wall.
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
What do you call a fish in a bowl? Fish bowl art at art art.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends how hard you can throw them.
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?
Muzan Kibutsuji
Hehe
You look easy to draw.
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Presto.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
Do you know what's in common between a hitman and a photographer?
They all shoot people for a living.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.