Q: What's the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle.
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
what did Germany and Austria do after ww2?
accepted all art students
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What’s the most artistic fruit
Vincent mango
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
“The naked man fears no pickpocket” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
You may not rest, there are monsters nearby”
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore – my face should be among them.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
A man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world.
Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up."
Man bursts into tears, says "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
I went to visit my friend who is a stand up comedian and I asked him, "Why do you have so much art supplies, clothing fabrics, and building supplies in your basement?"
He responded with, "I don't know what it is people think I need it all for, but almost every time I perform, people tell me I need new material!"
