Art jokes
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
Q: What's the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle.
"It's not a war crime if you win the war."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
My friend wants to do martial arts, but he's disabled, so I guess it’s partial arts.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
Rape isn't a joke.
It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.
It's a way of art, and works on anybody!
Like this if you agree.
Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture?
A: One uses one nail to hang.
A note for My arts/health teacher:
oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
Why did the rapper become a painter?
To brush up on his rhymes!
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?
They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.
*True story*
I saw this guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said "Smurf Paint," but I shouted, "Megamind!"
"The naked man fears no pickpocket."
- Sun Tzu, The Art of War.