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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

Whats worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

I didn’t like having long nails, but they’re growing on me

What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?

Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.

I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard she turned Christian.

What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The look on their face when your nailing them

Jesus walks in to a motel throws 3 nails on the counter and says can you put me up for a night

What’s more fun than nailing a baby to the floor Ripping it off with a kick

What is Jesus’ favorite band?

Nine Inch Nails.

You know when women clean their nails with chemicals no one cares but when hitler tries to clean poland with chemicals everyone goes crazy

Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to 10 trees

Pope francis “What is the hardest thing about nailing a young boy to a cross ?”

“My p....”

You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one. But I also think I screwed it up.

Hi trent


Why did the little boy cry?

He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.