Nail Jokes

Anonymous
in Bar

Duck walks Into a bar the duck says to the bartender hey bartender got any bread bartender says no then the duck says hey bartender got any bread bartender says NO duck says hey bartender got any bread bartender says no and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar duck says hey bartender got any nails bartender says no the duck says well then bartender got any bread

John Doe
in Puns

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

0
IAmDaemon
in Christian

Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it… at least Jesus didn’t get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.

5
mia

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

0
Thomas

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him ?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

Anonymous

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

1
Anonymous
in Offensive

What’s worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby, nailed to 10 trees.

Anonymous

Kobe Bryant never missed a shot

But he nailed that mountain

What’s worse than ten baby’s nailed to one tree?

One baby nailed to ten trees.

Anonymous
in Puns

You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one. But I also think I screwed it up.

Anonymous
in Jesus

Jesus walks in to a motel throws 3 nails on the counter and says can you put me up for a night

5
ILOVEWALLS4
in Wall

I’d like to be a one direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)

Anonymous
in Emo

I wish my nails were emo so that they would cut themselves

Tricky Dicky
in Nun

What’s black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!

Lossinthesauce

Whats worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

0
Overwatch_Gamer321
in Puns

I didn’t like having long nails, but they’re growing on me

xXBATMANXx2020
in America

whats the difference between Jesus and a picture frame?..It only takes one nail to hang a picture frame.

3
T

Did jeasus die a virgin Of course not he got nailed before he died!

6
JB
in Religion

What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

1
Anonymous
in Pickup Lines

Are you Jesus? because I want to nail you