Nail jokes
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"
I didn't like having long nails, but they're growing on me.
What is going on here?
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
I was making a coffee for my boss and this was the supposed recipe:
1 egg 1 tomato diced bell peppers a bag of sugar sea salt coffee beans rusted nails.
I got fired and spent the next 20 years in prison with a dude named Papa Bear.
Did Jesus cut his nails?
No! His nails cut through him.
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
ooOooOooOwwwwwwwwwnipplenipplenipplenipplenipple shat y lif.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
Hi Sean!
FUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFUFDLLLUFF
Your mama's like a cardboard box: open to the public and easy to nail.
What do you call a thicc boy... big boi?
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
Hi Trent!
I'm always hanging in there.
Hanging on the wall.
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.