Art jokes
"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind—it's tearable."
What is blue but smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
What do Michelangelo and Hitler have in common?
They both used their brain to paint the ceiling.
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!
Have you seen the new movie "Constipated"?
No, it hasn't come out yet.
Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.
Purple.
My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:
roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them.
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
I'm going to draw a picture. A picture with a twist. I'll draw it with a razor blade. I'll draw it on my wrist.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.
"Racccccccccccccccccccccoccoooocoooocoooooooooooocoooooo this is my song."
What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?
Dutch Boy.