Fist

Fist Jokes

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

I wanted to open a brothel in the monastery, but the slogan: "Fist some Christs" was, unfortunately, not so well received.

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.

One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."

Dear Hearing People,

We, deaf people, ainā€™t dead. We can use our hands to talk, eat & fist your face to give you some šŸ’” awareness that we can understand you šŸ’Æ meanwhile we laugh at you šŸ¤” We can even dance via vibration through music.

Do you know the song w lyric like this šŸ‘‡ *white b.... accent: Ohhh.. MY God BECKY.. LšŸ‘€k at her butt. IT is SO BIG. *BIG BEAT DROP* I...LIKE...BIG...BUTT...I cannot LIE šŸ‘» I promise we ainā€™t ghosting around - Brittany Rose.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: ā€œSorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.ā€

Second guy: ā€œBetween me and you talking, thereā€™s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!ā€

Dad: Johnny! Johnny!

Little Johnny: Yes, Papa?

Dad: Did you hit your brother?

Little Johnny: No, Papa!

Dad: Telling lies?

Little Johnny: No, Papa!

Dad: Let me see your fist.

Little Johnny: Ha ha ha!

Dad: What is so funny?

Little Johnny: You are, Dad, because I don't have a brother!

Dad: >:(

Little Johnny: What? It's true!

Dad: You do have a point there, Johnny.

Little Johnny: Love you, Dad!

Dad: Love you too, son.

Jack quietly crawled through Jillā€™s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,

ā€œBoo.ā€

ā€œJack!ā€ She yelled, ā€œwhat are you doing here?ā€

Jack sat down next to her and smiled.

ā€œI figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?ā€ He said.

ā€œThat sounds fun,ā€ said Jill.

ā€œCā€™mon, letā€™s go!ā€

The kids climbed down from Jillā€™s second story window. They frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jillā€™s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.

ā€œYou ready?ā€ Asked Jack.

ā€œReady as Iā€™ll ever be,ā€ Jill replied with a wink.

Jack laid his hand on Jillā€™s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.

ā€œIā€™ve waited a long time for this...ā€ he whispered.

Jack slowly pulled up Jillā€™s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.

ā€œSilly Jack, didnā€™t you know? Iā€™m not Jill. I never was. My nameā€™s Randy. Youā€™re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.ā€ Said Randy.

Randy moved Jackā€™s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jackā€™s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randyā€™s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randyā€™s fist hurtling towards him...