Animal

Animal jokes

Dinosaur

What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.

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  • Memes

    Furry

    I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

    I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

    He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

    "Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

    Egg

    I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very egg-citing, although, I was exaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then you’re hard-boiled. That’s all for today, yolks! So I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a catastrophe. These kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be kitten me.” Meanwhile, in the ocean, they just waved, see what I did there? You shore you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too deep for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had no body. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He boned her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

    Poop

    So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.

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  • Shark

    Why do sharks swim in salt water?

    Because pepper water makes them sneeze.

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  • Rape

    It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.

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  • Pitbull

    What has 4 legs and 1 arm?

    A pitbull dog coming back from the kids playground.

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  • Spider

    God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?

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  • Skyscraper

    How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.

    Rooster

    A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?

    Roosters don't lay eggs.

    Octopus

    Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.

    Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?

    Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.

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