Zoo jokes
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
What do you call a zoo with no dogs? A shit zoo! 😂😂😂😂😂
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
Roses are red, Your blood is too. You look like a monkey and belong in a zoo.
Do not worry, I will be there too, Not in a cage but laughing at you!