Zoo jokes
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
What do you call a zoo with no dogs? A shit zoo! 😂😂😂😂😂
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Friend: You look like a baboon.
Me: Stop talking, you look like a gorilla, so I might call animal control on you and I'll be seeing you at the zoo!
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!
Okay, long story fast, I walked to GameStop in my house, in the kitchen, by Walmart, to a BTS Squid Game concert, and Drake and Pablo were there for her labor in the Cowboys stadium by Nike, so I bought a pencil from a dead alive man. He said "ZOO WEE MAMA." So yeah.
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.