Zoo

Zoo Jokes

Squirrel

One day a truck driver had a truck full of squirrels. A police officer said, "Sir, I'm going to need you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver did so and left. The next day the driver was back, but this time the squirrels were wearing sunglasses. The officer said, "I thought I told you to take these squirrels to the zoo." The driver said, "I did. Today I'm taking them to the beach."

Language

It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.

Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...

Camel

The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"

"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."

"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"

"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."

"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"

"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."

"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!

Goat

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!

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  • Zookeeper

    Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.

    Dog

    I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.

    Animal

    I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).

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  • Ban

    My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

    Baguette

    A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"

    The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"

    Zookeeper

    Why did the zookeeper lose his job? For choking the chicken and spanking the monkey!