Species jokes
How is slavery different from Pokémon?
There are different types of Pokémon.
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
My favorite species is a cheetah because
Ima cheet-ah on the test.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
I went to the aquarium this weekend, but I didn’t stay long. There’s something fishy about that place.
How do you say "fish" without the "i"?
Fsh
Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
The Homo Sexual was a direct descendant of the Homo Genital Erectus, which went extinct in 2037 for being easily offended and its unwillingness to breed.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
I'm a human.
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
Animals are just... so hot!
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.