Animal jokes
What do you call a puffer fish? A fish!
What do you call a stupid bear?
The bear that's gonna give this an explanation, and he's dumb.
What do you call a donkey with no feet?
A horse.
Why did the chicken cross the road, when it should stay on a farm?
Why did the cow want to cross the road?
To watch a mooooovie!!
If I cut my wrist, am I a zebra or a tiger?
Tracy Latimer was described as cheerful, popular at school, and as an animal lover.
Just trying to gas her up a little bit.
Are you the king of the jungle? 'Cause why are we lying?
What do you call it when two gay roosters fight?
Cockfighting
What do you call an alpaca of Pakistani nationality?
An alpaki.
What is a snake’s favourite subject?
Hiss-tory!
What is a dog's favorite music?
Pup rock
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
What does a gay horse eat?
Heyyy!
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
Autistic kids are like cats. Prove me wrong.
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."