Animal jokes
What do you call a chicken that was cared for? A tendered chicken.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
"Bitch, I’m a cow, bitchhhhh."
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What animal lies? A lion.
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
I like cats.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Idk.
What type of sandals do frogs wear?
Open-toed.
Why do squirrels love dick?
Because it produces nut.
I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.
My bird. PRETTY BIRD! PRETTY BIRD!
Others CHIRP CHIRP CHIRP!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.