Why was the cheetah so bad at hide and seek?
No matter where she hid, she was always spotted.
Animal Jokes
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What do cows listen to on headphones?
moo-sic.
What’s a bird’s favorite movie?
The Parrots of the Caribbean.
What’s the difference between a hoe and a rooster?
A rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo," and a hoe says, "Any cock will do."
What do chickens play in the pool? Marco Polo.
Q: Why did the Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the first Koala.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Because the farmer had cold hands!
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
I got udder jokes too.
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
What do you call a white duck?
A quacker.
