Animal

Animal jokes

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Horse

Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?

Aquarium

You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.

Bull

Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."

Cat

Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.

1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!

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    • Memes

    Puppy

    Name: Ace/ Age: 6 weeks/ Breed: Pitbull mix Mastiff/ Like if he is cutee

    A brown and white puppy, sitting on a patterned blanket. Text on the image: "Name: Ace/ Age: 6 weeks/ Breed: Pitbull mix Mastiff/ Like if he is cutee"
    Animal memes

    Abuse

    What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

    You can’t abuse an alligator.

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    • Kid

    Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

    Kid: "A leopard."

    Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

    Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

    Fish

    What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.

    Cat

    I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.

    Insect

    Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.

    Bison

    What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"