Animal Jokes - Page 26 - Worst Jokes Ever

Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."

Two cats called "1,2,3" & "un, deux, trois" had a swimming race across the channel.

1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

What do you call a cool octopus?

Tenta-cool (tentacle)

What do you call a 100-year-old frog?

An old croak!

Goofy ahh dog 💀💀💀

A close-up photo of a black and white Great Dane dog with a long nose. The dog is looking at the camera. The background shows a kitchen with red chairs and light tile flooring. The text 'Goofy ahh dog 💀💀💀' accompanies the picture.

Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.

What do you call a magic owl?

HOOdini

What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"

What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?

A pan-duh.

What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.

I pushed a dog into a fire and said, "Hot dog!"

A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.

What kind of birds stick together?

Vel-crows.

I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.

Where do bunnies go when they're sick?

The hoppital.

Dad joke time:

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake.

What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?

"That hit the spot?"

The worst thing about an owl is how they can maintain eye contact when you put them in a microwave.