Animal jokes
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
Memes
Goofy ahh dog 💀💀💀
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What is the difference between a brown bear and a polar bear?
About a few thousand miles.
Why did the frog take the train to work? His car got toad.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
A llama kicked me out of my house. Alpaca my bags.
What does a cow use in school? A cowculator.
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.