Animal jokes
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
What kind of dogs do miners like best?
Golden retrievers, haha, get it?
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
Why are birds good at social media?
Because they "tweet" all the time!?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
What did the angry cow say to its enemy?
"We have beef!"
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Can you go as a horse for Halloween?
Well, if you do, I can't wait to ride you!
I’m becoming a litter bit more zebra everyday.