Animal jokes
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fish with no eyes.
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Memes
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
What did the cat say when he took his new car for a test drive?
"Meoooow!"
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
Why do orphans want to be dogs?
Because they want their own bed and food.
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
What does a gay horse eat?
Haaaaaaay!
Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Answer: Dam.
What is another name for a stupid fish?
"Dum bass."
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
What did the caveman say while seeing a reptile taking off?
Look at that dino-sour!
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!