What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
Animal Jokes
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.
Why did the ducks go to jail?
They sold quack.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
