Animal jokes
What has a dog?
People.
Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo - u
What did the duck say to the pond?
"Fuck Trump."
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
Memes
W dog
Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.
How do pigs kill themselves?
They commit Kermit-cide.
What do you call a cold Explain bear?
A brrr.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
A black cat will be racist next.
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
This is how animals were named.
"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?
"Bison. Perfect."
What do you call a smart blonde Labrador?
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.