Animal jokes
What do you call your mom?
Monkey.
What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.
I am starting a frog cult now!
Kid: Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
Nerd: Because they're marsupials.
Kid: No, because they didn’t have the koala-fication!
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
Stop making moo jokes, they're so annoying!
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
What happened when the cheetah took too many baths?
He became spotless!!!
What do you say when you see a pig making bread? He's bacon.
In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
What do you call a two-dimensional owl? A Paper Towl!
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
What's the difference between a bus full of children and a fish?
The fish can swim.
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)