Animal jokes
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, he can't tell me.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It felt like it.
Memes
A snake walks into the bar... the bartender says, "How the heck did you do that?"
Why are chickens so funny? Because...
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To become the spicy chicken burger at Chic-fil-A.
What did the dog say to the cat? Ruff!
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because they can't.
Q: What do you call a dog that stepped in its own shit?
A: I don't know.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Terrier.
Terrier who?
Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.