Animal jokes
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
What do birds use to check their grades?
Air-ies...
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
Why are trees afraid of dogs? Because they bark.
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Honda? Just the Honda.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
What do you call a giraffe without a bowtie? Neck-ed.
Mufasa is proof that cats don't always land on their feet.
Why don't people sit next to the cheetah during a test?
Because he's a cheetah!
What did the shark say when it ate the clownfish?
It tasted funny!
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Answer:
To prove it wasn't chicken!
Why did the otter cross the road?
To get to the otter side.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.