Animal jokes
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
Hey, pass me that crowbar, please.
Sure... y’know, before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Memes
MY 4 little kittens
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
What do you call a smart blonde Labrador?
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Watchdogs.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Hammerhead.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to KFC.
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
Did you hear about the new doggy condos?
Apparently they are now releasing!
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.