Animal jokes
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.
Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
Did you adopt your dog?
Q: I like elephants.
A: Everything else is irrelevant.
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
What cow can part water? Mooses.
What happened when 800 hares got loose in the center of town?
The cops had to comb through the area.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
What is the name of the bear capital?
Koala Lumpur.
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
Two fish in a bowl. First fish asks, "Haven't I seen you around here before?"
The second fish replies, "F**k me, a talking fish!"
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.