Animal jokes
The unicorn was so much better, and I love it!
Which Roman emperor was a mouse?
Julius Cheeser.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
Memes
america or australia? you choose its fate aka jail or no
What's every elderly person's spirit animal? The blue tang fish.
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultrygeist!
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?
MC Hammerhead.
What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?
A boomboxer.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Watchdogs.
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ノ≧∀≦)ノ
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? (Dam!)
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?