Animal jokes
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
Memes
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
What are 8 people hiding in a corner because they're scared?
An octopus.
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a cactus? A porkupine!
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.
What do you call a lion as a baby?
Cocota
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
He gets toad.