Animal jokes
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth.
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?
Because they're so good at it.
My friend went to the zoo yesterday. There was only one dog in a crate.
He said it was a Shitzoo!
Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
Why are chickens so funny? Because...
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
Magitat?
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
What do a mole and an eagle have in common?
They live underground, except for the eagle. Lol.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.