Animal jokes
Why do dogs like skeletons?
Because they're boneheads.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?
What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.
Bird Box.
What is a Finnish Spitz's favorite comedian?
Redd Foxx.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
Why didn't the koala climb up the tree?
Comment down below!
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalottapuss.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What is the difference between a dog pound and an orphanage?
In a dog pound, people actually want them.
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
What do you call a fish with no neck?
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat.
this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls, two for under a buck!