Animal jokes
Yo mama so fat, cow!
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Why did the cow cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
awww
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
What did the cat say when she stubbed her toe?
"(Me)owwww!"
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
What vehicle does a frog 🐸 drive?
The Beetle!
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
What do you call a drunk cat? A drunk cat.
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!