Animal jokes
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
How many potatoes to feed the elephant?
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
MY 4 little kittens
What happens when you eat a cat?
I love to eat cats for dinner!
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
What do you call a smart blonde Labrador?
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
Magitat?
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
Your mom is so fat that when she stood on a scale, it said, "We need an actual person, not an elephant!"
A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.