Aed jokes
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
Me testing if there is fall damage in real life (falls off of a cliff, uses water bucket trick) dies.
I met a gay guy last night.
Man, was he a pain in the ass.
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
What's the difference between a school bus and a cactus?
On a school bus, the pricks are on the inside.
Bully... you're such an asshole. Me... Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger.
What does a pumpkin need when it's hurt? A pumpkin patch.
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Some people are like a software update. When I see them I think, "Not now."
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis? A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
"Dog the dog" and Maggie were frightened of her, and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor. Jokes and Maggie were walking. I was going to go off the road to the city hall to see her, and I said that the only one-piece dress for women readymade RB collection, as he was walking in the city, and Maggie was a little bit more on the side of it.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.