Aed jokes
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar.
It's a grave mistake to talk badly about the death.
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.
What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
The viola burns longer.
Wanna hear a joke...
I don't know, I'm too high.
What’s the difference between a dog and parents?
If an orphan calls their name, only the dog comes back.
A boxer talks with his fists.
Stephen Hawking talks with his wheelchair.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
A B C D E F GUN.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
What’s an emo's favorite singer?
Slash.
I went to an emo kid who just got a haircut, and instead of saying, "Like your cut, G," I slapped his arm and said, "I like your cuts, G."
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
Why did orphans play Poppy Playtime?
To get a family.