Aed jokes
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
What is a necrophiliac's safe word?
"I'm alive!"
I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.
What do you call a black goldfish? A gigger.
Do a neck reveal.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a good body these days?
I think Jeffrey Dahmer had the right idea, just put it in the freezer.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
Yo mama so ugly, she looks like a green bean with googly eyes.