Simone

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Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?

A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.

Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?

A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.

I know Marie Antoinette jokes aren't funny, but they're nothing to lose your head over.

Jokes about Marie Antoinette aren't funny but that's no reason to lose your head.

Q. Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians? A. He thought they tasted funny.

I'd tell a Luigi joke but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.

Q .What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO? A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.

I should probably stop making emo jokes.

They just don't seem to cut it anymore.

Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?

A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.