I had a girlfriend who was a below-the-knee amputee. We broke up because she just couldn't keep her legs closed.
Simone
Q: What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and wind chimes?
A: Wind chimes don't make a gurgling sound when they're hung.
Q. Why aren't Epstein jokes funny? A. Because it's such a touchy subject.
Q: What do you call an angry, bullied Asian kid?
Shoo Ting.
Q. What movie is a fat person most afraid of?
A. The Hunger Games.
Did you know there's a brand of coffee specifically for pedophiles?
It's called the Ep-bean.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
Yo momma's an ICE agent!
Q. Why did the pimp buy a journal?
A. To organize his thots.
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
I keep hearing "Obesity kills."
My only question is "Why is it taking so long?"
I'm not saying you're annoying.
But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.
I think DJT has FTD.
My friend is a pimp.
I think he's having an existential crisis. Lately, he just wants to be alone with his thots.
What do you call a fight at a dementia unit?
A Sundown Smackdown.
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
What's an emo's favorite type of necklace? The kind that attaches to a ceiling beam.
Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.
Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.
Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's? Wanna hear a joke about Alzheimer's?