Aed jokes
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
What do you call a dinosaur with a cowboy hat and cowboy boots?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex.
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They're both meat substitutes.
Have you ever had a friend who masturbated many times? I had one who did a lot, but he had no imagination... when he masturbated, he imagines his hand.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."
One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."
It's quite ironic that people tell you "Happy Birthday," then they want to give you a spanking.
What do you call the mushy stuff between sharks' teeth?
A slow swimmer...
My friend is gonna release an air strike. There has to be at least 20 confirmed toilet kills.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
What is a duck's favorite drink to sip on? Duck wine.
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.
Why did the boy study for his math test in a tree?
'Cause he wanted higher grades.
What do you say when a person trips?
You say, "Why you trippin'?"
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.