Aed jokes
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
I had a dream that I was destroying the world, and I blew up my house for fun. I woke up and couldn't find my pillow... nor the house.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
What do you call a daredevil Weedle who does stunts on a motorcycle?
Weedle Knievel.
Pokemon: Are you a Flareon? Why?
Because you’re a sexy fox.
What do you tell a stressed-out Pokémon?
“Kakuna Rattata!”
What do you call a Pokémon who can’t move very fast?
A Slowpoke.
What mountain cries the most?
A mountain under water.
Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Q: What did the ocean say to the other ocean?
A: Nothing, they just waved! 🙃
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
What do they feed a gorilla in Paris?
Ape Suzettes.
Every kid in a classroom is relevant, because if one of them gets shot, they will all be featured on the news.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."