Accident jokes

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?

Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?

Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.

You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.

Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.

Who's Paul Walker's close friend?

Tree.

You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.

From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”

Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?

Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...

My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"

What do you call a gay kid on fire?

I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?

Hot Wheels.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To cut through traffic.

John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.

When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.