Accident jokes

Your family in a nutshell.

I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!

What did Kobe say to the helicopter?

"Don't crash!"

Kobe: "Don't crash!"

Helicopter: *Crashes*

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

Why did James fall off the swing?

He had no arms.

I had the best butterfingers yesterday.

I dropped it.

My Butterfingers slipped.

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?

Your momma is so fat that when she egged the Twin Towers, she threw a airplane on accident.

When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.

Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

To the I.C.U.

Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"

I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.