Accident jokes
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! đ±đ
Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield?
Everywhere.
When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!
Nobody:
Titanic: sYnCccCc
Iceberg: yAaaYeEee
People: yAaanOooO
Ocean: fUuudD
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
Memes
Perfect
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."
I hit my friend.
He's dead now.
A FedEx plane was carrying 375 fridges across Africa, but the cargo door wasn't shut properly, and only 218 reached the desired destination. The rest landed in a remote village. How many fell out the plane?
Time's up! You took too long; you only had 4 seconds to answer it.
How do you put an elephant into the fridge that pushed out the cargo door?
Open the fridge, put the elephant in, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant. Then put in the giraffe and close the door.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got hit by the other 156 refrigerators.
How did she survive?
Her idiot mother tried to pull her out and accidentally ripped both her arms off, but she was rescued 8 minutes later.
I have a daughter; sheâs a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesnât matter, really; Pennyâs mum wasnât a big fan of her anyway.
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...
Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, âWell, at least sheâs in heaven!â
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
Why did the blind man fall down a well?
Because he couldnât see that well.
Yo mama so fat!
She sunk the Titanic. She put on a blue coat and they thought she was an iceberg!
I would tell a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.
What is big, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.
This is Sally.
Sally says hi.
This is Sally when a car comes by. đ€
U were accidental.