Accident jokes

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"

My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

(Again, credits to my really funny friend)

There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.

I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.

Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA

Q: Why was the pilot sad?

A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀

Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.

Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.

Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?

What did you call a school that got blown up?

Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Sally fell off the swing.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not Sally.

I unironically shit myself. I am so sorry.