Accident jokes

There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"

Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.

The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.

I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.

Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA

Q: Why was the pilot sad?

A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀

Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.

Kid: "THERE'S A SHOOTER IN THE BUILDING!"

Shooter: "Oops."

I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.

Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.

Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?

The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.

What did you call a school that got blown up?

Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!

Sally fell off the swing.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Not Sally.

I unironically shit myself. I am so sorry.

What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!

There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.