Accident jokes
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
What did you call a school that got blown up?
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
Sally fell off the swing.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.
I unironically shit myself. I am so sorry.
I tripped over my wife’s bra. It was a booby trap!
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
What is the difference between Paul Walker and the Queen?
Paul Walker passed 100 before he died.
I killed a man in '94.
Two planes crashed into two separate towers.
Now two towers crash into two separate planes.
A man walks into a bar.
Ouch!
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?
He was lucky it was a soft drink!
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
Your family in a nutshell.
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!