Accident jokes
What's black and found on top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
I killed a man in '94.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
It's way too soon for Kobe jokes.
They never land well.
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.
My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
There was a school fire. I pushed the wheelchair kid into the fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Why did the student at Blacktown Girls cross the road? To go to heaven. HAHAHA
He got a paper cut and bled out.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?