Accident jokes
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
There was once a boy who took a selfie, and the next day became an orphan.
Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
So there was this guy who went swimming one day and got his left side bitten off by a shark.
But don't worry, he is all right now.
My great uncle died in a concentration camp.
He fell off one of the guard towers.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a table, and chairs.
Person 1: “Hey, today was great!”
Person 2: “What happened?”
Person 1: “I ran into my ex today.”
Person 2: “What’s so great about that?”
Person 1: “I was in my car.”