Accident jokes

Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.

Q: When does a pentagon have four sides?

A: When it's intersected by a plane!

One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"

I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.

My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.

Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!

I felt a window break once. It was pane-full!

My father can take a joke because he made one.

Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.

Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!

There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"

Why did James fall off the swing?

He had no arms.

I had the best butterfingers yesterday.

I dropped it.

My Butterfingers slipped.

Last night I slipped on a banana.

My friend said it was a-peeling!

When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

I remember my grandfather's last words:

"Are you holding the ladder?"

As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"

(Knock knock) Who's there? Accident. Accident who? Accident you.

Why did the dog cross the road?

It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.