Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
Accident Jokes
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
My father can take a joke because he made one.
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!
Sorry, cringy joke.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
Yo mama so stupid, she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.
