Accident jokes
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
imagine making your own meme
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.