Accident jokes
Even Bob Ross couldn’t paint a happy little accident like BLESSEDBRIAN.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
Q: When does a pentagon have four sides?
A: When it's intersected by a plane!
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
Memes
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.