Accident jokes
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.
But I can break yours today, hopefully.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"