One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
Why did the wall fall over?
A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.
Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"
Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"
Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.
So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."
a girl and a boy were on a date, the boy kept farting. the girl asked, What Is Wrong?!?!the boy replied, "explosive diareah." the girl said ew.
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. the center of the explosion, the bathroom.
what do gum and guns have in comman when you pull one out every one wants to be your friend all of a sodden
When you put the chicken in the oven and it goes down and the oven explodes oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass and all goes back
Whats the definition of dissapointment running in to a wall with a bonner but it hits only hits your nose
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage and she burnt it down luckily she don't have to tell there parents
never joke about 911 they'll just crash and burn
One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine, and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes. The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.
Q:What is red white and blue and fun to watch? A: a cop car rolling over after tryong to catch for speeding
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off. Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river, she had a gun. When she got out of the river she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
well i got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep then my step bro got home and i did not know and hours later i woke up my pants were down and my butt was on fire
i was hit by a car later my ex lost her bus job
you where born on the free way you know why because
thats where alot of accidents happen 😈
Your family in a nutshell
i killed a man in 94
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream" -Margret "Why"-Depress boy "Because he got ran over"-Margret "I wish that was me"-Depress boy
