Accident jokes
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
Why did the kid cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂
I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?
He's all right now.
Little Mickel was on a tree.
He fell down and hurt his knee.
He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.
Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. I'm old enough to drive, for now I'm still alive, till I crash in that beehive!
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.