Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

I’m not lazy, I’m just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don’t try to stop me. I’ve got a skele-ton of these!

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24hrs, so they just called it a “day”.

a blond, a red head, and brunette, were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away, so in turn they try to swim to the island, the brunette swims 10 km then drowns, the red head swims 30 km then drowns, the blond swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

Did you here about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.

I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.

Dear math,

please grow up and solve your own problems I’m tired of solving them for you.

Thanks

Why are mountains allways tired? Becose they don’t Everest

Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest “Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired”

surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that they’re arms don’t get tired…

An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee, A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after awhile and says, “Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in”.

A Man Gets Captured By Cannibals Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, “You can kill me or you can eat me, but I’m tired of getting stuck for drinks.”

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

3 women are walking down the street the one on the left is holding a golf ball the one in the middle is holding a softball and the one on the right is holding a hand grenade they walking down the street and the on on the left gets tired of holding the golf ball and she throws it later down the road they see a guy holding his balls in pain they ask him what happened and he says i was walking down the road and a golf ball hit me in the dick they laugh and keep walking later the girl holding the women in the middle got tired f holding the softball so she chucks it they keep walking and they see a guy knocked out out and his wife is trying to wake him up the girls ask what happened and she replied we were out for a late night stroll and a soft ball hit him and knocked him out the girls laugh and keep walking the final chick holding the hand grenade but wanted to keep the ring so she pulls it out and throws it they keep walking and run into fat black chick laughing and they ask whats so funny she says i farted and the building behind me blew up

3 women are walking down the street the one on the left is holding a golf ball the one in the middle is holding a softball and the one on the right is holding a hand grenade there walking down the street and the on on the left gets tired of holding the golf ball and she throws it later down the road they see a guy holding his dick in pain they ask him what happened and he says i was walking down the road and a golf ball hit me in the dick they laugh and keep walking later the women in the middle got tired of holding the softball so she chucks it they keep walking later they see a guy knocked out out and his wife is trying to wake him up the girls ask what happened and she replied we were out for a late night stroll and a soft ball hit him and knocked him out the girls laugh and keep walking the final chick holding the hand grenade got tired of holding it but wanted to keep the ring so she pulls it out and throws it they keep walking later they run into fat black chick laughing and they ask whats so funny she says i farted and the building behind me blew up

Why couldn’t the bike stand up?—Because it was “two tired”!

how were tire swings made a tire said goodbye world and hung himself

Why did the bike fall over? 'Cause it was wheely tired.

A guy is bankrupt so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can.so the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says I’ll f–ck you for $10. The boy says I would but I don’t have any money. She says ok I’ll take the duck instead. He says ok so they go up stairs and f—ck. The prostitute says that’s the best sex I’ve ever had. I’ll give you the duck back and we can do it again. So they do and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says well I got a f—ck for a duck, a duck for a f—ck, and $25 for a f—cked up f....

What’s the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A tire swing doesn’t die when you hang it from a tree

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