Tire jokes
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours, so they just called it a "day".
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
What do you call a tire that is tired?
A tire, I guess. ❤️
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Why did the rapper refuse to play cards?
Because he was tired of dealing with all the jokers.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
I was asked to give a bicycle joke, but I couldn't...
I was two tired.
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
My friend said she was tired of seeing me every day.
So I pushed her off the side of a cliff.
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
It must be tiring to put makeup on two faces.
I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
One day, a chicken went to the nail store. He asked the "owner" where the shampoo was. "BRO IM NOT THE FRIKKIN MANAGER!" the guy said. So the duck walked away.
The next day he went back to the store and asked a pregnant lady why she was so fat. The lady punched him and ran away. The duck cried. Then he went to the lady's husband and said that he must be tired of being married since she punches people every day. The man punched him. The duck assumed they were the punching couple. The duck walked, and then fell in a ditch and stayed there to die. The pregnant lady and her husband were very pleased >:) muhahahahahahaha
It's tiring being straight 24/7.
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."