Accident jokes
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
How do you name a disabled Asian?
Throw the wheelchair down the stairs.
Yo mama so fat, She the iceberg.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
What time is it when you get hit by a car? Time to die.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
Racecar backwards is racecar, but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why did Paul Walker drown?
Because he was too busy carpooling.
Why did Mr. Peanut die?
His cane snapped!
Did you know that the Royal family like carnivals?
Princess Diana was really fond of bumper cars.
When you say, "I'm high!"
But then you fall off.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free? She washed up on the beach.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.