Accident jokes

What is black and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking's after a fire.

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?

Because he fell off his wheelchair.

So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.

Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.

I almost got run over by a car.

For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.

Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?

Everywhere.

A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.

Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.

I drew a picture of Colby.

Too bad it got ripped up 😢

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"

Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided? All the sailors were marooned.

I kicked a soccer ball into a kid in a wheelchair, so we are playing Rocket League.

Luckily, his funeral was a closed casket, sorry, his car blew a gasket.

"Russian" twists into a ditch, dead!

L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.

Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.

I'm going to hell!

My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

Why did the wall fall over?

A drunk driver hit it going 90mph and died.

One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.