Accident jokes
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Where did Joe go after getting lost in a minefield?
Everywhere.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
How did Capetian Hook kill himself? He wiped his butt with the wrong hand.
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
What's the worst part about hearing a special needs kid getting hit by a car?
Having to listen to the wheelchair scraping for a mile and a half.
My father always used to say:
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
Until the accident.
What are the similarities between a broken tire and me?
We were both caused by broken rubber.
What did the plane that crashed on the ground say? Let me crash between those legs, girl!
Sorry, cringy joke.
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
I had the best butterfingers yesterday.
I dropped it.
Why did the man fall into a well? He couldn’t see that well.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.
Not screaming like her passengers.
Your family in a nutshell.
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...