You jokes
What do you call a single bisexual?
All bi myself.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!
Chuck Norris is...
What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.
Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.
Abner’s wife was laying on her death bed. She suddenly used all her strength to sit up and say to her husband, “I must tell you something, or my soul will never know peace. I have been unfaithful to you, Abner. In this very house, not one month ago.”
“Hush, dear,” soothed Abner. “I know all about it. Why else have I poisoned you?”
Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?
Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
What did the orphan poker player say to the elder?
“Will you raise me?”
What do you call a woodpecker without a beak?
A headbanger.
"I’m coming for you two!"
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.