You jokes

Backyard

Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.

Deal

I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!

Memes

Smile

You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.

Woman

What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.

Refrigerator

What's the difference between a homo and a refrigerator?

A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

Fat

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

Weight

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Height

Store owner: You have to be 40 inches tall to go into the adult section.

Kid: Please.

Store owner: Oh okay, but get on your tippy toes.

Kid: Everybody is hugging.

Mum

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.