You jokes

What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in glue?

Sticky Minaj.

Your dick is so small they thought you were a girl when you came into the world.

Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.

Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.

"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"

What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?

You are so butty-ful!

Q: What do you call a nun in a pool? A: A bath bomb.

*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.

*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?

What do you call an imposter octopus?

Octosus.

What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?

Vegetable soup.

I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.

What do you call somebody in America that is smart?

An immigrant.

Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it?

The salad could be dressing!

Black humor is when you ask water to African people.

To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.

What do birds and children have in common?

If you shoot them, they die.

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

Bully: Your mom hates you.

Orphan: I don't have parents ;)