You jokes
Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?
Can I push your stool in for ya?
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
What do you call the bear that pushes all the other bears into the pool?
The dry bear.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Astrophysics fact: If you count every star on a Saturday night, you're autistic.
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
How do you spell "cognitive mess?"
J.O.E. B.I.D.E.N.
Like if you know someone emo.
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
What do you call a group of special ed kids with guns? Special forces.
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
Full.
Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.
If you read this, you are gay.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.
And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.