You jokes
A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
What do you call Flapple asleep? A Napple.
Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.
When are you from Kansas? You know!!! 🐌
When are you from Alabama? You know!!! 🐩
A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.
The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
What's the difference between a pizza and a guy you really hate?
One won't scream when you remove their meat.
Did you hear about the nasty tuna fish?
He was rotten to the albacore.
What do you call an Islamic LGBT member? A Gaylism.
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
He: "I love you."
Me: "I love myself too."
I sit because I can't stand you.
What did the cow say to the other cow?
Moo you fine.
Tuxedos suit you.
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?