Response jokes
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”
What question can you never answer yes to?
Answer: Are you asleep yet?
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
Alex, respond to me, please! LOL
What say the child to the man? Shalom.
Man come later give the child: "Here, what you asked for!"
Child: "No, sir! I say Shabbat Shalom. I not ask for salmon!"
Man: "It may be the coin in me ear, hard to hear."
Şehmus ne demiş? Ne bileyim, olm, ona sor.
If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
Why do 911 jokes always fail?
They always crash and burn!
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
My friend said they were going to make a comeback. I told them to do it at the back of the throat.
When the guy asks the girl if she's wet, she replies, "Yeah, milky knickers!"
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!
What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!