You jokes
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
I was with my blind friend, and he's telling me, "Yeah, I can read braille." So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read, "Screw you, asshole."
What would you call a gay man's couch? A Homo Sectional.
What do you call an idiot?
An absolute imbecile.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
One thing you can ask Mario:
"Can you jump up and down for me?"
What do you call Link when he is hurt?
A link to the cast.
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Jack and Molly are sitting in school one day.
Molly is asleep when the teacher asks her a question, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Jack sees Molly is sleeping and quickly pokes her with a sharp pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" shouts Molly.
"Correct," says the teacher.
The next day the teacher asks, "Molly, who created Heaven and Earth?"
Molly is again asleep and is poked by Jack's pencil.
"Jesus Christ almighty!" she shouts.
"Correct again," says the teacher.
The next day, for a 3rd time, Molly is asleep.
This time the teacher asks her, "What did Eve say to Adam when she had so many children?"
Jack pokes Molly with the pencil again, and this time Molly screams "If you stick that thing in me one more time I'm going to crack it in half!"
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
Q: What do you call a pervert with no legs?
A: A creepy crawly.
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?
Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
You were born out of your dad.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Redundant.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"