You jokes
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Did you hear about the man who backed into a meat grinder?
I guess you could say... he was a little behind on his work.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
How can you help a llama on holiday?
Alpaca your bags.
Knock knock. Who's there? Ach. Ach who? Bless you!
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
What do you call a creepy flower? A Pedel-File!
You are a joke.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
You are quite [something].
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!