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A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.

One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says “well can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied “no”. So the grandpa says “okay.” And leaves it at that and walks off. A few years later the boy asks his grandfather for some money again and his grandfather once again asks “can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says “yes it can.” To which the grandpa says “good, now go f... yourself.”

Someone butt dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.

Pedofiles are f...ing immature assholes

I was with my blind friend, and he’s telling me “Yeah I can read braille”. So I hand him a Lego brick and ask him to read it. Apparently, Lego has been hiding a dark secret from us for years; as all their bricks read “Screw you, asshole”

Pedofiles are f...ing immature assholes

Not done yet

Now they are

What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guys asshole?

He said “F... this shit!”

Some guy farts and says “That was some asshole behind me”.

How would you best describe prostate cancer?

Well it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!

Someone butt dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.

2 fe male mouse met and one spoke yesterday I met a mouse he was black and he had wings and he had some cool sharp teeth he said he only at night

other mouse : ummm…thats a bat

that asshole he told me that he is a pilot

my grandpa is an asshole,the f...er deserved to die,the son of a bitch was using his life support,and i needed to change my iphone.

Paedophiles are f...ing immature assholes.

“Well,” he says, “It’s what mommy calls me sometimes.”

The little girl screams, “Don’t eat it! It’s a f...ing asshole.”

So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, “After this last drink, I’m going to the roof to kill myself.” A guy sitting next to him says, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”, in which the man replies, “Oh yeah?” So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says “You’re not gonna die, watch this!” He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says “Cool, let me try!”, and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says “Superman, you’re an asshole.”

i put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it but instead i got bit by ants

Asshole

Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked, he thought “I can f... her so fast she wouldn’t even know what happened” so he then flew down to the pool and did f... her. Wonder Woman stood up and said “What was that?” the Invisible man said “I don’t know but my asshole stinks”

Why does shit come out your asshole? Cause f... you that’s why