You jokes
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
Did you hear about the orphan who ran away from home?
Wait a minute! What am I talking about?
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
What do you call a house party for slaves?
An auction house.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
What do you call a Lesbian at a Barbecue? A LGBBQ.