You jokes
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"
"Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?" Replies, "No." "Gross!"
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
What do you call California during a forest fire?
Completely normal.
Hey Gwen, listen, I know you're on this app, fake or not. I love you either way. Please find this faker and finish her off for what she's done, real Gwen.
*You're a real best Gwen*
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
Luckily for you, mirrors can't talk, and luckily for you, they can't laugh either.
Devil: Hey angel.
Angel: Hi devil, why are you nice?
Devil: What do angels add to their food to make it a little more spicy?
Angel: What?
Devil: Angelpinos!
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Babe, I'm breaking up with you.
Why? I'm turning 18 tomorrow.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you? You're not dead.
You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.
Okay, what do you call a dummy that writes a dumb writer?
You know how divers jump off a cliff and land in the water well...
Emos do that too, but when they jump, they don't land in the water.
Are you the Lusitania 'cause I wanna fire a torpedo into you?
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
What do you call a fish without eyes?
A fsh.