You jokes
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
One day I met a blind guy and I said, "You should see Mt. Cheaha!"
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
You go up to a bar and say, "Hi." He doesn’t look at you. You keep saying, "Hi." He says, "What?" Then you realize that he is the one that you stole his lady from, but then he doesn’t give you any drink. You say, "Why?" He screams at you and then says, "YOU'RE FIVE!"
What do you say after making fun of a disabled person?
"Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes."
What do you call it when two Mexicans fight?
Juan on Juan.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Do you love me?
No, Papa.
#### you!
What do you call a one-legged Asian?
Tie Won Shoo.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
What do you call it when an orphan takes a picture?
A family portrait.
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
Woman gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: "Ma'am, have you been drinking?"
Lady: "No, officer."
Cop: "What's that in your cup then, ma'am?"
Lady: "Just water, officer."
Cop: "Looks like wine to me."
Lady: "Oh my god, Jesus did it again!"
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
Your mom and your dad.
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
How is an emo kid’s wrist like Pink Floyd?
It’s all shitty until you reach the final cut.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!