Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
You Jokes
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
What time do you call me tomorrow?
How do you punish Helen Keller? Just move the couch.
I love you.
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
You know how we all have different sides? Well, I have a suicidal side. (Here a bang in the next room.) Oh well, not anymore :)
Good afternoon. My name is Russell, and I am a wilderness explorer of Tribe 54, Sweat Lodge 12. Are you in need of any assistance today, sir?
How do you drown a Blonde? You put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless!
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
