You jokes
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
When you look in the mirror, the mirror cracks.
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
What do you call a flat-chested depressed person?
A cutting board.
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Mom, shut up. Me? I don't shut up, I grow up. When I look at you, I throw up.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
Don't believe what your school bully tells you.
Always take it with a grain of assault.
Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?
Draggin' these balls across your face.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
You guys know the notes A Minor and D? I really like putting D in A Minor!
What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣