You jokes

What do you call an emo with curly hair?

Sam Reid.

You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

What do you call something that has 50 legs but can't walk? 25 disabled people!

How do you make an orphan's hand bleed?

Tell him to clap until his parents come back.

You should know it's important to wash your sex toys. That's why priests invented baptism.

What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

Girl, you must be a Muslim because you are only 5 years old, yet you know how to give great head.

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

What kills you?

Suicide.

"I work with animals," a man said on his Tinder date. "That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who works with animals. Where do you work?" "At the butcher shop!"

Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

I would tell you a time travel joke, but you did not like it.

You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.

What did one tower say to the other? "Damn, you looking fly!"

Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"

Your mom and your dad.

If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

I saw a kid sitting on the curb and I asked him, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" "You're parents did."