You jokes
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
What do you call a born-again heteroflexible male that is a Christian nationalist who thinks he is bisexual when the LGBT community knows that he is bicurious and that he is on steroids and that the LGBT community knows that he is not telling the truth about that? He is a gay man that is in the closet. He should be forced out of the closet by gay men in the LGBT community by any means necessary if gay men in the LGBT community still want to defend the wall of separation of church and state by any means necessary.
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
How do you make it hard for a rapist who is trying to rape you? Rub it.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.
2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.
3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.
4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.
5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.
7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.
8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.
10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?
11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.
12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
What do you call a stoned Mexican?
Baked bean.
How do you poop?
If you're Canadian in the kitchen, then what are you in the bathroom?
European.
Did you know that soccer fields aren't made of 4 million crayons? They are actually made from grass. :)
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
Women are like dogs...
"Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going?"
"Can I come? Can I come? Can I come?"
"I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here... I'll wait right here..."
SHOES
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
what do you call a suicide bomber that loves water? a bath bomb.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...