You jokes
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.
Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
Your forehead is so huge, you don't have dreams, you have movies. Follow me on Instagram: _zer0x3.
Pickup lines in 2022 are like: "Are you Russia? Because your bombs are so big!"
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
Why do you need an AR-15?
So my son can use it if he's being bullied at school.
What is the difference between a thief and a doctor?
The thief knows what you have!
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.
You know, most people take rocks for granite... sorry.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
I make elevating music; you make elevator music.
When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
What did the hat say to the tie?
"I'll go on ahead, while you just hang around!"
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
How do you make holy water?
You take it to church ⛪️
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.