You jokes

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression f**ks you harder.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Alone time.

What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.

Roast

You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.

Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!

Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?

BF: Babe, I have two questions.

GF: Ok, ask!

BF: Where have you been all my life?

GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?

BF: Can you please go back there?

Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.

What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?

Geico saves you more.

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

What do you call an orphan's family picture? A self-portrait.

A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

"How much have you found so far?"

"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]