Deadpool Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

Knife

When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.

By the way, have you seen my sister?

Orphan

What's the difference between puppies and orphans?

The puppies actually get adopted.

Memes

Trap

A three-panel comic strip shows Deadpool and Spiderman. In the first panel, Deadpool says "Booby traps." The second panel has Deadpool standing with his arms folded, and Spiderman looks confused. In the third panel, Deadpool points his finger in a gun-like manner and laughs while stating, "You said, 'traps.'"

Management

What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

Pool

What pool never runs dry?

The one on the Titanic.

Friend

I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.

A depressing but satisfying victory.

Titanic

Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?

Memes

Condiment

A meme shows two superheroes, Deadpool and Wolverine. Deadpool has a Heinz tomato ketchup label pasted on his chest and Wolverine has a Heinz yellow mustard label on his chest. Below them is a reaction image of a man with a slight smile on his face and his tongue slightly out.

Trap

A three-panel image with Deadpool and Spider-Man. In the first panel, Deadpool says, "Booby traps." In the second panel, Deadpool is looking at Spider-Man with crossed arms. In the third panel, Deadpool points a finger and is laughing while saying, "you said, 'traps.'"

Math test

Spider-Man and Deadpool are sitting at desks in a classroom. Spider-Man is writing on his test with a pen. Deadpool is writing with scissors. There is text that reads: "Pssst, spidey, what'd you get for number seven?" "Dude, shut up! I don't wanna get in trouble!" "I got Waterloo." "This is a math test!" Are we not going to talk about the fact that deadpool is writing with scissors.

Cure

A person sitting at a table with a white sign that reads "A cure for cancer would kill deadpool. CHANGE MY MIND."

Superhero

A four-panel image. Top left shows Superman with the word "HOPE" below him. Top right shows Wonder Woman with the word "TRUTH" below her. Bottom left shows Batman with the word "JUSTICE" below him. Bottom right shows Deadpool with the word "BOOBIES!!" coming from a speech bubble.

Newspaper

A comic strip shows people dressed in Harry Potter costumes waiting outside a store with a sign that reads 'Midnight Sale'. The text reads 'THE PAST... "IT WAS THE EARLY 2000s. A TIME WHEN WE ALL LEARNED TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS AGAINST SPOILERS." I'VE AVOIDED READING NEWSPAPERS AND EVEN LOGGED OFF OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB TO MAKE SURE THAT THE NEW HARRY POTTER BOOK ISN'T RUINED FOR ME. "ME TOO! I'M NOT GOING TO CHECK MY GEOCITIES PAGE UNTIL I'M THROUGH THE BOOK!" MIDNIGHT SALE SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE! -OOOOOOOORRRRE! NOOOOOOOO!'. In the next panels, Deadpool in a Harry Potter themed cloak spoils the book.

People

The image shows four panels from the movie The Sixth Sense. In the first panel, a young boy is looking afraid and the text reads 'I SEE DEADPOOL'. The second panel shows a man talking to the boy, and the text reads 'YOU MEAN 'DEAD PEOPLE''. In the third panel, the boy is saying 'NO, DEADPOOL. HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.' The fourth panel shows Deadpool standing behind the man.

Sword

The image shows a two-panel scene. In the first panel, a man with a Deadpool mask is impaled by a sword. The text "OH NO!" is present. In the second panel, a baby with a Deadpool mask is shown. The text says "ANYWAY". There is a crowd of blurry figures in the background.

Couple

The image is a two-part meme. The top part shows a formal event where a couple is kissing. The lower part shows a close-up of Deadpool and Spiderman looking at something to the right. They have a slightly surprised or annoyed expression.

Valentine

Mine is better than all of yours

A cartoon image of Deadpool holding a bloody heart with the speech bubble, “MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU!” and below “HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY”

Film

Probably the black guy

The image shows six panels. The first panel shows the face of Kylo Ren with a red lightsaber. The second panel shows Rey with a lightsaber. The third panel shows Leia Organa. The fourth panel shows Finn with a blue lightsaber. The fifth panel shows Han Solo with a blaster. The sixth panel shows Deadpool, next to a Chimichanga snack. Underneath, there is text: One of these things are not like the other.

Wolverine

Good Question….Beavis and Butthead should be on here too

The image shows three panels. The top panel depicts Wolverine with his claws out with the text "WHO HAS" written in green. The middle panel shows Deadpool with a serious face, with the text "THE BEST" also in green. The bottom panel shows Tom from Tom and Jerry with his hand appearing as if his fingers are just grown back, with the text "HEALING FACTOR" in green.

Kidney

It’s a metaphor for capitalism

A person wearing a Deadpool mask sits at a table covered in stacks of hundred-dollar bills. The text on the image reads "Deadpool after selling 1500 of his own kidneys."

Community

everyone wearing blach's pfp reminds me of the wade/Deadpool era where we all became diff wade/Deadpool lmao

Wade I'm gonna watch Deadpool VS. Wolverine this weekend... is it good or should I not buy tickets

Deadpool & Wolverine was so good but I did NOT expect to see blade, he looks so much shorter😭