Deadpool Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever

Knife

Deadpool · 7 years ago

When I was younger, I thought that it was cool to use knives because kids used to ask me to use them.

By the way, have you seen my sister?

Swimming Pool

Jimmy Twojokes · 3 years ago

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

City

Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A chaotic and vibrant hyper-edited collage styled like an epic movie poster. At the top, the title "CITY BOII" is written in glowing, fiery letters. The scene is filled with a variety of figures including the Hulk, Batman, Deadpool, and anime characters, all surrounded by intense blue lightning and orange flames. In the center is a large, distorted cartoon face with glowing blue eyes and an open mouth. There are also images of a bearded streamer and a yelling bald man. Large laughing and shocked emojis are at the bottom center. The text "THAT'S WHY HE'S THE GOAT" and "100% ACCURACY" are scattered around. The name "HEMMY BOI" appears at the very bottom.

Titanic

Anonymous · 6 years ago

Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?

Pool

Pool · 5 years ago

I like to drown in a pool.

I mean billiards...

Kitten

Jackal · 8 years ago

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!

Corpse

Shower thoughts · 2 years ago

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

Math test

Wade · 2 years ago

Spider-Man and Deadpool are sitting at desks in a classroom. Spider-Man is writing on his test with a pen. Deadpool is writing with scissors. There is text that reads: "Pssst, spidey, what'd you get for number seven?" "Dude, shut up! I don't wanna get in trouble!" "I got Waterloo." "This is a math test!" Are we not going to talk about the fact that deadpool is writing with scissors.

Trap

Wade XL · 2 years ago

A three-panel image with Deadpool and Spider-Man. In the first panel, Deadpool says, "Booby traps." In the second panel, Deadpool is looking at Spider-Man with crossed arms. In the third panel, Deadpool points a finger and is laughing while saying, "you said, 'traps.'"

Call

Wade · 2 years ago

Perfection

The image shows a stylized drawing of Deadpool with two pistols. In a speech bubble, he says, "Don't forget to wear your brown pants!". Above the image is the text "CALL OF DOODY" and "MERC OPS."

Gun

Wade · 2 years ago

Deadpool and Harley Quinn

A four-panel image shows Deadpool asking Harley Quinn if she knows how to use the gun she's holding. Harley replies it's full of blanks, just like Mistah J. The last panel shows Deadpool reacting in surprise.

Bottom

Wade · 2 years ago

Words I live by

The image shows the comic book character Deadpool in a red and black suit with two swords on his back. The background is a red and white pattern. Above and below Deadpool are two text fields. The first says, "IF I'VE EVER OFFENDED YOU, JUST KNOW, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I'M SORRY." The second says, "THAT YOU'RE OVERLY SENSITIVE."

Avenger

Silly Sonka · 2 years ago

First meme in a while :)

A group of six cartoon and video game characters are positioned in a row. From left to right, they include a green character with a single eye, Mario's mushroom head character with a mustache, a tanuki character, a meme character with a blank face, Deadpool, and a green ogre character. The text "THE AVENGERS OF WJE" is centered in front of them.

Wolverine

Wade · 2 years ago

Good Question….Beavis and Butthead should be on here too

The image shows three panels. The top panel depicts Wolverine with his claws out with the text "WHO HAS" written in green. The middle panel shows Deadpool with a serious face, with the text "THE BEST" also in green. The bottom panel shows Tom from Tom and Jerry with his hand appearing as if his fingers are just grown back, with the text "HEALING FACTOR" in green.

Century

Wade · 2 years ago

I love this comic run so much

The comic shows Spider-Man and Deadpool looking at each other with confusion. In the second panel, a fiery horse carriage drives by. In the last panel, they discuss the 19th-century Ghost Rider and his potential involvement in the wrong Civil War. The text in the speech bubbles says: NEIGH! Did you just see that? 19th Century Ghost Rider? Yup. Oh man, do you think he's showing up to fight in the wrong civil war? Let's hope he fights for the North, otherwise he's not gonna like taking orders from a black Captain America.

Couple

Wade · 2 years ago

The image is a two-part meme. The top part shows a formal event where a couple is kissing. The lower part shows a close-up of Deadpool and Spiderman looking at something to the right. They have a slightly surprised or annoyed expression.

Badass

Wade · 2 years ago

Badass

A comic book style image of Deadpool aiming a rifle with a scope, despite only having one working eye. The text at the top says, "You know you're badass when" and the text at the bottom says, "you use a scope without an eye."

Valentine

Wade · 2 years ago

Mine is better than all of yours

A cartoon image of Deadpool holding a bloody heart with the speech bubble, “MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU!” and below “HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY”

Cable

Wade · 2 years ago

Deadpool 2

A cartoon-style image shows two characters. On the left, a man in a suit, with the face of Cable from Deadpool, stands tall. On the right, a smaller character is dressed in a Deadpool costume, but with a baby's diaper and wearing an adult's shirt and tie. Behind them is a door with "X-Force" labeled above it.

Priority

Wade · 2 years ago

Bro got his priorities straight

A comic book style image shows two male characters. The left character has grey hair and is shooting with a large gun at an explosion. In the background, metallic robots are moving forward. The right character is Deadpool, who is sitting down and playing a handheld game. There is a speech bubble coming from the left character that says, "REALLY?! You're playing that now?"

Community talk

Hyphen (Cope)

everyone wearing blach's pfp reminds me of the wade/Deadpool era where we all became diff wade/Deadpool lmao

Ingenious1

Wade I'm gonna watch Deadpool VS. Wolverine this weekend... is it good or should I not buy tickets

Anonymous

Deadpool & Wolverine was so good but I did NOT expect to see blade, he looks so much shorter😭