Soldier

Soldier Jokes

Explosion

*Loud explosion inside the tank*

"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."

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  • Suicide

    Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?

    Dave: No.

    Jason: Well, he hit his first target.

    Grenade launcher

    "Sanderson, fire a warning shot."

    "Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."

    "Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."

    Dad

    My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.

    Hail

    A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."

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  • Grandpa

    My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.

    Armor

    When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

    School

    School and Boot Camp are a lot alike. The only difference is that in school, you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.

    School Shooter

    I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

    Orphan

    What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.

    War

    Why was 6 afraid of 7?

    Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.

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  • Army

    Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

    Grenade launcher

    Commander: "Fire a warning shot."

    Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher."

    Commander: "Potato, potato, just fire."

    Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school*

    Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"

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