*Loud explosion inside the tank*
"Where's the commander?" "He's gone." "Where has he gone?" "All over the place."
Which branch of the military accepts toddlers? The infantry.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
My dad has the heart of a soldier, and a restraining order from the soldier's family.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair......
RC-XD incoming
A german soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her." (say the joke aloud and it will make more sense)
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
School and Boot Camp are a lot alike, the only difference is that in school you don't have to get deployed to get shot at
i swear in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers cant even win a war, might as well send all your school shooters over there
what does a orphan and a military man not have in common, neither gets to go back home
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris
Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
What do you call a retreat in war? A back up plan
(one of my friends gave me this) Hey, my grandfather was part of WWII. Yeah. He killed Hitler!
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops
What is your arms favorite military branch? The army.
