You jokes
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
What do you do when you finish a magazine in the hospital?
Reload and keep firing!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
I'm not saying you're annoying. But if rectal herpes were a person, it would be you.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
Q. What do you call a prostitute who asks too many questions?
A. An intrusive thot.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
For centuries the Catholic Church censored everything that wouldn‘t fit with their teachings. You know what I call that?
"Chancel culture!"
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
You really put the R in special.