The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
You Jokes
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
Do you guys know what KFC stands for? It stands for kidnapping foster children.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an Apple Store?
Because they don't have Windows. 🤢 🤣
I drove through a school zone and found out you can drag a speed bump 😬.
What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Fuck you you rwind my life.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
