You jokes
How can you tell if a man is straight? You don't have to, he will tell you.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?
Juans upon a time.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
Memes
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
What do you call a selfie of an orphan? A family photo.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
What do you call a group of transgender women?
X-Men.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Your forehead's so big that you dream in 4k.
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
The only difference between you and Jesus is that Jesus believed in himself.