You jokes

What do you call an orphan taking a picture?

A self-portrait.

When you're at a funeral and you laugh at the body... everyone stares, and one person said, "Isn't that your mom...?"

Dad: What time do you wanna go to the dentist?

Daughter: *tooth hurty*

Dad: All right.

My family is like treasure; you need a map and a shovel to find them.

What do you call German weed?

Mustard Gas.

What do you call a llama that was in 9/11? Osama Bin Llama.

What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.

How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!

What's the difference between depression and your ex?

Depression f**ks you harder.

If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?

"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."

How do lesbians have sex? It’s too complicated. I’d have to show you.

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Alone time.

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

My sister: You were born ugly.

Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.

I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.