You jokes
How did I know where you would go next?
Oh, I felt it in my bones!
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
What do you call an Asian chick with dick in her ass, pushy and mouth?
Filipino.
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
What's the worst thing to hear in a prison shower?
"Drop the soap, we've got you surrounded."
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
How do you know if a chick is too fat?
If you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What’s the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can’t hear an enzyme.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.