You jokes
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
What do you call a committee of emo kids?
A cutting board!
You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.
What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.
What do you call a Chinese boy throwing poo?
Yung Flung Dung.
Why would Tommy kill Philza's wife just to make Phil believe she didn't exist?
LIKE AND SUB IF YOU LI/j
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you told them twice.
Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Why can't you play memory snap in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.