You jokes

You looking for jokes? I have one: your life.

Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.

POV: You call the group of emos the "Suicide Squad."

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

Would you like to try African food?

They would too.

What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.

What do you say to make a redhead mad?

Anything.

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?

Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...

What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?

Frostbite!

How do you stop a skunk from smelling?

Hold its nose.

Worst joke ever.

Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.

Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!

What do you call a white person having a seizure?

A saltshaker.

How do you know someone has Down syndrome?

They're doing better than you.

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.