You jokes
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!
Me: But Billy's with her right now.
Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM
Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)
Like if you hate going to school.
Boys Vs Girls (oh god another reminder of the robbie incident)
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Like if you wanna have sex.
Like if you meet someone emo.
How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?
His dick tastes funny...
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”
“No.”
“Neither have they.”
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.