You jokes
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”
“No.”
“Neither have they.”
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
Like if you meet someone emo.
welp u alr know what it is
Like if you wanna have sex.
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!
What do you call a crazy computer?
Wired.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
You want to hear a 9/11 joke?
I bet they did too!
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.